Tofu Garlic Vegan Mayo

I don't currently have the luxury of a lot of ingredients lying around. The coronavirus has turned everything on its head. Still, I'm trying to find comfort in familiar hobbies like cooking and origami.

What I did have was half a package of silken firm tofu that needed to be used and a whole head of garlic that wasn't getting any younger. That is the inspiration for this recipe. That, and my love of all things creamy and garlicky.

1/2 package silken firm tofu, drained
8 cloves garlic, stems removed
1 habanero, deseeded
1 serrano
3 tbls olive oil
3 tbls white vinegar
1 tbl salt
1/2 can chick peas, drained and rinsed

Puree all ingredients in your food processor until a creamy mixture is the result.

It's great right away, but you can chill it in the fridge for a few hours to thicken and let the flavors coalesce.

This is extremely garlic forward and also hot from the chiles. Because the mayo is tofu based and tofu has no flavor of its own, the full on flavor …


An interesting thing happened to me after a while of not eating meat. Other foods began to taste incredible. So much better than they ever had before. Potatoes, peanut butter, cheese, salad dressing. You name it. Everything I put in my mouth began to taste like heaven.

In some ways this can be bad. I mean, it's hard to eat regularly when your mouth is having multiple orgasms.

I don't know if anyone else has ever had a similar experience. Would be interested to find out. It's probably just because there are too many chemicals in meat, more than meat itself is bad.

Or maybe eating lots of vegetables has some strange effect on the brain. Who knows. Not I.

Does anyone do studies regarding this? The pleasure principles of food for veggies vs. omnivores. Sound like something that ought to be explored.

Food is a curious thing to begin with. There's the one aspect, where we have to eat to live. But how many of us actually do that. Potato chips, french fries and cheeseburgers aren't exactly essential to marinating life. If we only ate to live we'd probably mostly consume barley, carrots and flounder. Or some other tasteless, low calorie regimen.

But food is about so much more than simple survival. Who exactly is interested in just surviving anyway. We all want much more than that.

Good food is not dissimilar to orgasm. Pleasure centers in the brain are triggered. We are contented

From an evolutionary standpoint it's true that people are supposed to eat meat. We have the fangs to prove it. But the meat we're eating isn't exactly the stuff evolution had in mind. It's pretty cruel to the animals and equally as cruel to our bodies.

I can't decide whether to be grateful or annoyed by how good food now tastes to me. And no one believes me when I try to explain how utterly delicious one of my vegetarian sandwiches can be. But it's true. I've had countless turkey subs and cheese steaks and hamburgers. And I have quite enjoyed them. But honest to goodness I love the beans, cheese, hummus and onion ones way more.